


How It All Ended

by Casually_Of_A_Fandom_War



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: Blood, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Fear, Hurt No Comfort, Insomnia, Let these children be in love for once, Shadow Weaver's horrible parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 01:48:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16651987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casually_Of_A_Fandom_War/pseuds/Casually_Of_A_Fandom_War
Summary: Catra couldn't sleep. You think she'd be used to it by now, after everything she's done, but no. Every time she rolls over, every time she reaches out, every time she looks.She doesn't know what she's looking for. She doesn't know why she can't sleep.Lies,A part of her whispers, knowing full well why.What she doesn't know is why everything suddenly feels numb, but hurts at the same time. She thinks it's weakness, so she pushes it down. It doesn't really affect her, mess with her head, until it does.





	How It All Ended

**Author's Note:**

> I have some angst for you. Sorry if it's not all that good, it was something quick I wanted to share for one of the best things I've come across. The Cartadora ship is so complex, I just love it! I'll definitely be making more sometime soon.

Catra couldn't sleep. You think she'd be used to it by now, after everything she's done, but no. Every time she rolls over, every time she reaches out, _every time_ _she looks._

She doesn't know what she's looking for. She doesn't know why she can't sleep.

**_Lies_ ** _,_

A part of her whispers, knowing full well why.

What she doesn't know is why everything suddenly feels numb, but hurts at the same time. She thinks it's weakness, so she pushes it down. It doesn't really affect her, mess with her head, until it does.

 

* * *

 

The first time she started feeling this way was when she was younger, when her and Adora sneaked into Shadow Weaver's room. Fear. Distaste. It went away as soon as Adora stepped in to cover for her, but the seed was already planted.

It grew quickly.

She always was competitive, it was in her nature. Catra tried her best at everything, but the same results showed up again and again. She was friends with Adora, but she just wanted to _win_ for once. It's all she wanted, _just once_ , she told herself.

She got reckless, showing up late with no care in the world. She felt the pull to prove herself, even stronger, but she denied it to live with Adora peacefully. But, despite how she acted, it still tore her up.

Her fear and fury twisted her gut. The sting of betrayal let loose her frustration, and her anger. She felt hot, numb, and confused. Her head was whirling, she couldn't tell what was up or down. Catra was showing weakness, showing her hurt, but Adora wasn't there. She would never be that close enough again.

 

* * *

 

It was a sick joke for them to keep meeting on the battlefield. Catra just wanted to lay in her friend's arms again, just wanted to be _accepted_ again. She knew this was her fault. It would be easy for her to leave. It would be easy for her to say sorry.

She didn't.

So now, with the memories replaying in her brain, she hardened her heart. The first rays of morning were filtering through the smoke filled air, casting the land below in shadows.

She really needed to get a grip. Adora wasn't coming back. Catra wasn't who she once was, so Adora should stop trying. She never would. Another night of tossing and turning left her eyes bloodshot, left Catra unfocused and scattred. She remembered, though. Why she never gave in.

It was never Adora, that made her so mad. It was the evil that took her away. She loved Adora, but hated that _thing_ she became. The thing that convinced her she was on the wrong side, letting loose a seed to grow inside of Catra, was how Adora looked, begging her to stay. She never did. She _couldn't._

But she knew she was wrong.

Catra knew if she wanted, she could at any time run away to be with her. She could leave everything she knew for the thing that mattered most. She didn't, because the once small part of her that wanted to win one time wanted more.

She wanted to conquer, she wanted to _rule._

 

* * *

 

Catra never meant to hurt Adora, not really. Sure they fought, but they were in a war _._ They were _supposed_ to fight.

With Adora's blood covering her hands, she was thinking otherwise.

It wasn't supposed to end up like this. She did want to prove herself. She wanted to _win._

 

_Her eyes and weapon locked with Adora's, trying her best to catch her friend off guard. She smiled, feeling Adora start to give. She had to pull away when another student jumped her. She quickly disposed of the girl, slashing her device and turning her attention to the real challenge. It came out of nowhere, her strike. Catra was standing, and then she wasn't. She was_ winning _, then she wasn't._

_As tears threatened to spill, she excused herself. Walking away from the praise Shadow Weaver's was giving Adora. She vowed to herself, she would win. She would be the best._

 

**_Not like this_ **.

As she crouched over Adora's bleeding from, trying her best to stop the ever growing puddle of blood at her knees, she knew she was running out of time.

_Adora_ was running out of time.

 

_Her eyes locked with Adora's, her eyes full of hurt. Why her friend was leaving her she didn't understand. Her chest constricted, cutting off her breath. She watched the monster She-ra turn into her beloved friend, snarl forming on her face. She walked away, leaving Adora to whatever she wanted._

_If Adora wanted to throw away all they had for some stupid identity crisis then fine, Catra would let her. It would be her who ended She-ra once and for all, another promise she made to keep herself from falling off the edge. Although, maybe she had already fallen._

 

She knew she couldn't stay. She wrapped Adora in tattered cloth she ripped from her own outfit. Bandaged the gash on her side with the last of her supplies, and slipped into the rebels' armed fortress just to return her somewhere safe.

Before leaving, she kissed the crown of Adora's head. Turning, she was already envisioning how to escape. A soft tug from behind gained her attention. Soft blue eyes that were glazed over stopped her in her tracks, a broken voice begging her.

“Stay.”

For once, Catra's demons were silent in her mind. All her anger and disbelief melted away, and so she made her choice. A choice she might regret, but none of that mattered at the moment, with Adora looking so helpless and vulnerable.

She stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> I am [ClearSkyWritings](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/clearskywritings/) on Tumblr


End file.
